:: Beneathe The Milky Twilight ::
I have no idea what's draining me out. Perhaps its all the thinking. All the pondering. All the sleeping. My thoughts are not quite anywhere.

It's difficult to be happy in my own skin at the moment. Now that I have literally nothing to do(and nothing in my pockets,too), I should be happy. I should be at peace. But I'm not.

I'm born to whine, seriously. One person actually said...I'm complaining about being unemployed. Wait till I get a job, then I'll complain about how MUCH I can't stand working. Geez.

Girls are therapeutic, I tell ya. They make me forget I actually have issues that comes in bulk. Thanks girls. Hida and Mardi joined us last nite....oh wait..shhh...it's a 'secret'. *winks*

Just the other night, I lost it. I just lost it in front of the PC. I felt so small, - like nothing in the world can make me better again. I thought about my parents. I felt I didn't know where I was, where I'll be. Im called, and I cried so hard and so silently that I felt woozy soon after that. I felt I was going to throw up. Nevermind. Move on.

I am still thinking about that Oak3 offer. I have a week to give them a confirmation. I have to admit, the pay SUCKS. It sucks so bad I think I'll be better off a waitress. 16 hour days for 3 months. But I have to admit the thrills of working on such a large scale shoot. They'll have cast and crew from Germany and France and Hong Kong, - the whole fact that I actually belong in the team will boom my resume. But personally, it is not a good idea having 50/50 feelings on a job offer. Simply, it's not a good sign for me.

Well, I might have another offer coming up. But Fad gave me a little warning though. Will see how it goes. All the best to myself.